A Friend Loveth Like a Brother
”A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17).
A different and more correct rendering would give the verse thus: “The true friend loveth at all times, and loveth like a brother born for adversity.”
We are to be on our guard against merely whimsical friend ship, a friendship that is governed by moods and incidental and ever-changing circumstances. Our friendship is to be without changeableness or shadow of turning, a really rooted attachment to persons or to doctrines, not subject to change ableness and not exposed to those variations which render it quite uncertain as to what our mood may be when we may meet our friend when we next see him.
This is what we mean by whimsical friendship – we do not know whether we shall encounter a smile or a frown, whether it would please our friend to be jovial or uncongenial, whether he may be in a mood to help us or to hinder us. That is not friendship. Certainly that is not the friend ship that is represented in Proverbs 17:17.
The text rather teaches us that we are to know our friends when we are in adversity. The friend then becomes a brother, because adversity develops him, tests his quality, elicits his resources, awakens the whole circle of his sympathy, and turns his sentiment into reality and action.
We do not know who our friends are until we have been in trouble. The cloudy day dissolves the crowd that delights in sunshine. When we have need of our friends we shall know how many friends we have. The men who call upon us in the day of trouble are the men who are born for adversity, and who are representing the genius of true friendship.
Here we can always count upon our Heavenly Father and our Lord Jesus – our best friends. Nothing can change them if we be faithful and constant in our love toward them. They do not found their actions toward us upon the reports of others. They read our heart for themselves, comprehend the motive, in its beginning and in its development and in its consummation, and when all others forsake us they are nearer than ever to us.
In six troubles he hath been with us, and in seven he will not forsake us (Job 5:19). “I will never leave thee, nor for sake thee” (Hebrews 13:5). Jesus never turns away from those whom he loves. He has given them into the Father’s hand, out of which no man can pluck them (John 10:29). “The foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his” (2 Timothy 2:19).
Of what avail is it that we have innumerable friends when we can entertain them, when we can give more than we receive, when we are the sources of inspiration or blessing or satisfaction to them? It is when we are misrepresented, misunderstood, falsely accused, desperately alone, that we shall know how many stand by us. The men who go with us to Gethsemane are the men who are our truest friends. Thus is character tested. In contrast, superficial friendship is much like the following restatement of Jesus’ words found in Mat thew 25:42-43.
I was hungry, and you formed a committee and discussed my hunger – Thank you.
I was imprisoned and you crept off quietly to the cellar of your house and prayed for my release.
I was naked, and in your mind you debated the morality of my appearance.
I was sick, and you knelt and thanked God for your health.
I was homeless, and you preached to me of the spiritual shelter and the love of God.
I was lonely, and you left me alone to pray for me … You seem so holy, so close to God,
but I’m still very hungry and lonely and cold.
– David Skein