I Have Sinned
“I have sinned … Jehovah is righteous” (Exodus 9:27)
This particular declaration, which is a confession of sin, occurs eight times in the Scriptures. We might think that such an expression would be a positive indicator of a new course. But in reviewing the occasions where it occurs, we find a surprising reversal.
(1) BY PHARAOH
Exodus 9:27 — “And Pharaoh sent, and called for Moses and Aaron, and said unto them, I have sinned this time: Jehovah is righteous, and I and my people are wicked.”
Moses before Pharaoh
This is a confession by a haughty tyrant. Pharaoh had no repentance of heart. He simply wanted the suffering of the moment to end and he would do whatever he could to make it stop. He confessed out of fear, not from a change of heart or desire to do what was good and right. His confession was hollow, devoid of true repentance and understanding. As such, it was of no value. When the crisis of God’s judgment passed, he reverted to his previous mindset.
Exodus 9:34, 35 — “And when Pharaoh saw that the rain and the hail and the thunders were ceased, he sinned yet more, and hardened his heart, he and his servants. And the heart of Pharaoh was hardened, and he did not let the children of Israel go, as Jehovah had spoken by Moses.”
Pharaoh’s hollowness is further shown when again, in chapter 10, Pharaoh confessed, “I have sinned” (verse 16). We can see from these examples of confession that those who merely wish to alleviate their current suffering circumstances are not acting from the heart but from the flesh. Sinners without repentance will express great remorse, but not true conversion.
(2) BY BALAAM
Numbers 22:34 — “And Balaam said unto the angel of Jehovah, I have sinned; for I knew not that thou stoodest in the way against me: now therefore, if it displease thee, I will get me back again.”
In this second instance of confession, Balaam was face to face with an angel of God. His sinful course was laid open before him. The heart problem of Balaam was that he was double-minded. He was indeed a prophet of Jehovah. This speaks of some good thing in him. But he harbored a love of money and this, unfortunately, offset any love of doing God’s bidding he might have had.
2 Peter 2:1,15, “false teachers … Forsaking the right way, they went astray, having followed the way of Balaam the son of Beor, who loved the hire of wrong-doing.”
Reading the words of Balaam, we see in him some desire to do God’s will even though it might mean death. Though he was hired to curse Israel, he plainly told the King of Moab that he could not curse what God has not cursed. His oration ends with Numbers 23:10, “Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his!”
This appears to describe a faithful character. But no, twice more Balaam built altars and sacrificed bullocks in an effort to receive a prophecy from God to curse Israel. However, each time a blessing emerged, and Balaam simply went his way (Numbers 24:25).
But that is not the end of the story. The advice Balaam gave Balak resulted in great sin in Israel. He recognized that as long as Israel stayed obedient to Jehovah, no harm could come to them. But if Israel could be seduced into sin, then the curse of the wrath of God would come upon them. So Balaam instructed Balak to have the women of Moab seduce the men of Israel.
Numbers 31:16, “Behold, these caused the children of Israel, through the counsel of Balaam, to commit trespass against Jehovah in the matter of Peor, and so the plague was among the congregation of Jehovah.”
Revelation 2:14, “But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there some that hold the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed to idols, and to commit fornication.”
This ploy succeeded and 24,000 people died as a result of the plague that God sent upon them (Numbers 25:9).
So what are we to make of Balaam’s confession when he said, “I have sinned?” It was not built upon a strong foundation of righteousness. Rather, Balaam was a double-minded man. On one hand he had some desire to do right, but on the other hand, he was driven by the desire for money. Jesus rightly said, “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon” (Matthew 6:24).
(3) BY ACHAN
Joshua 7:20, “And Achan answered Joshua, and said, Of a truth I have sinned against Jehovah, the God of Israel, and thus and thus have I done:”
The background of this confession involves the destruction of Jericho. God’s instructions were very clear; everything in the city was to be destroyed and burned with one exception. All of the gold, silver, and vessels of copper and iron were to be spared and brought to Jehovah’s treasury. They became God’s property (Joshua 6:24).
Achan, however, saw some things he wanted. Joshua 7:21, “When I saw among the spoil a goodly Babylonish mantle, and two hundred shekels of silver, and a wedge of gold of fifty shekels weight, then I coveted them, and took them; and, behold, they are hid in the earth in the midst of my tent, and the silver under it.”
As is usually true, the choices we make affect others. The sin of Achan first became apparent in a failed military mission, which resulted in the loss of 36 lives. Jehovah indicated to Joshua that the failure was a result of some sin of the people. The search came to Achan and he confessed, “I have sinned.” However, it was not only Achan that sinned in this regard. The goods stolen from God were hidden in his tent, in “the midst of the tent,” in full view of the members of his family and, evidently, with their consent and cooperation. Every one of them should have realized this was a sin, but they all keep silent.
There is reason to doubt the penitence of Achan and his family. It was revealed to Israel that their trouble was because of the sin of the people. But who had committed the sin was unknown, so the guilty ones would be identified by lot. Achan said nothing when his tribe was selected to choose lots. He also said nothing when his family was selected. He was finally exposed when his household was selected. He could have come forward and confessed at any time. But only when he was found out did he speak. There was not a basis for mercy to be shown here. Their sin had resulted in the death of 36 soldiers. And the just penalty for all of them was stoning.[1]
Joshua 22:20, “Did not Achan the son of Zerah commit a trespass in the devoted thing, and wrath fell upon all the congregation of Israel? and that man perished not alone in his iniquity.”
(4) BY SAUL
1 Samuel 15:24, “Saul said unto Samuel, I have sinned; for I have transgressed the commandment of Jehovah, and thy words, because I feared the people, and obeyed their voice.”
The context here demonstrates that King Saul did not consider obedience to God in every particular to be of great importance. He had been instructed to totally destroy the Amalekites, including all their flocks and herds. But Saul decided to keep a spoil of the best animal resources and even spared the life of their King, Agag.
This was a direct violation of Jehovah’s command. Sparing the life of King Agag had dire consequences for Israel many generations later in the time of Esther. Curiously, when Samuel afterward traveled to meet Saul, he was greeted by Saul with the words, “Blessed be thou of Jehovah: I have performed the commandment of Jehovah” (verse 13)! In fact, he had not performed the commandment of Jehovah. So headstrong was Saul that he considered his modification of what God commanded to be obedience!
At that point Samuel plainly declared God’s message of reproof to Saul and Saul responded with “I have sinned.” But then he made the excuse that he did it because he feared the people and obeyed them. In other words, “it was the people’s fault.” He also explained that he spared the best animals in order to be sacrificed to Jehovah. So, his confession was insincere.
Insincerity turns out to be one of the major flaws in Saul’s character. He adapted to whatever circumstance he was in and did what was right in his own eyes. He thought he had all the right reasons to be disobedient to God, never considering that there are no acceptable reasons to disobey. As soon as the tears of confession were dry, the intents of his heart and purposes of his mind were the same as before, as shown by Saul’s remaining life.
Saul confessed, “I have sinned” again at a later time when he was hunting David. In Chapter 26 of 1 Samuel, Saul realized that David had the King’s life in his hands but refused to slay the anointed of Jehovah. This realization moved him to the confession. But again, it resulted in no real change of direction in his life.
(5) BY SHIMEI
2 Samuel 19:20, “Thy servant doth know that I have sinned: therefore … I am come this day the first of all the house of Joseph to go down to meet my lord the king.”
Shimei was a man from the family of Saul. He was quite angry with the fall of King Saul and the ascendancy of David to kingship. At an earlier occasion, recorded in 2 Samuel 16, Shimei cursed David and threw stones and dust at him as David fled from the city and from his son Absalom. Clearly Shimei had a lot of anger toward David and thought his flight from Jerusalem was a good thing. David could have had Shimei executed for such nasty treatment, since it was against Mosaic Law to curse a ruler (Exodus 22:28). But David chose to excuse it, taking the experience as from God.
After the death of Absalom, David returned to Jerusalem and was met along the way by Shimei. It was at this point Shimei confessed his sin to David and asked for clemency. Although David’s general Abishai said Shimei should be executed, David promised not to kill him.
From the scant information provided, we cannot be sure of the sincerity of Shimei’s repentance. On one hand he did come to David and confessed his sin and asked forgiveness. On the other hand, now that David was back in power — his desire to live may have played a part.
But while David did promise not to kill him, he did not forget his atrocious treatment at Shimei’s hands. In fact, he later told Solomon to remember what Shimei had done.
1 Kings 2:8, 9, “And, behold, there is with thee Shimei the son of Gera, the Benjamite, of Bahurim, who cursed me with a grievous curse in the day when I went to Mahanaim; but he came down to meet me at the Jordan, and I sware to him by Jehovah, saying, ‘I will not put thee to death with the sword.’ Now therefore hold him not guiltless, for thou art a wise man; and thou wilt know what thou oughtest to do unto him, and thou shalt bring his hoar head down to Sheol with blood.”
King David’s assessment of Shimei was that he was “not guiltless.” Solomon did indeed wisely handle him later. Shimei had disobeyed a command of the king that he had agreed to obey and was executed for it. We conclude that Shimei is another example of a confession made without true heart repentance.
(6) BY KING DAVID
2 Samuel 12:13, “David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against Jehovah.” This is one of the most well known confessions in scripture. King David’s list of sins began with his adultery with Bathsheba. It was compounded by deception and, ultimately, murder.
David was blinded by his sin. Not until the wise and courageous action of the prophet Nathan did David have his eyes opened to the egregious nature of his behavior. But when he heard the words of Nathan, he was cut to the heart. His confession was spontaneous. Jehovah, who knew David’s heart, immediately accepted his confession. Nathan informed David, “Jehovah also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die.” But though he had been forgiven, David did not escape the consequences of his sin. It plagued him and his family the rest of his life.
David and Nathan
David had one more occasion to say, “I have sinned.” 2 Samuel 24:10, “David’s heart smote him after that he had numbered the people. And David said unto Jehovah, I have sinned greatly in that which I have done: but now, O Jehovah, put away, I beseech thee, the iniquity of thy servant; for I have done very foolishly.”
This sin was taking a census of the Israelites. It appears to be a sin of pride, to show how great a King he was. But again, David came to his senses. His “heart smote him” and he repented. Again, there was a penalty for the sin that involved the death of others in Israel.
In the case of David, his confessions, “I have sinned,” were sincere and heartfelt. And although there were two occasions, the sins were different and full repentance followed. Neither sin was ever repeated.
(7) BY JUDAS
Matthew 27:3,4, “Judas, who betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, saying, I have sinned in that I betrayed innocent blood. But they said, what is that to us? see thou to it.”
That Judas turned out to be a bad man is well documented in scripture. His betrayal of Jesus made him the best-known betrayer in history. His words “I have sinned” are a confession — a confession of despair.
Judas is another example of the corrupting influence of loving money. He sold his Master and Teacher for 30 pieces of silver. We cannot know what he thought would be the outcome, but he must have understood that the clerics of the time wanted Jesus dead. When the awful reality of Jesus’ imminent torture and death hit him, there was some remorse of conscience. We cannot describe this as a repentance in the true and full sense of the word. True repentance is followed by words and deeds to counteract the sin and its effects. True repentance is followed by praise for God. Judas’ repentance of despair drove him to suicide. He was a man who had lost all hope.
(8) BY THE PRODIGAL SON
Luke 15:17, “I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight.”
The Prodigal son is only parabolic, but it illustrates a proper confession. He had left the home of his father and lived a profligate life, exhausting his inheritance and debauching his character. At the bottom of this doleful experience, he recognized his poor judgment and current situation and resolved to return home.
That this confession came from a repentant heart is shown in several details. First, he recognized his sin “against heaven.” It was not simply the disappointment his father would feel toward him, but that he sinned against God himself. This indicates his acceptance of accountability to Jehovah. Second, he no longer expected the advantages of being a son. That was lost in his sin and he knew things could not return to the former situation. Third, he would accept the position of a servant in the house and be content. This shows true humility.
In sum, all of the characteristics of the Prodigal Son’s confession and repentance stand in stark contrast to most of the previous examples. Jesus’ gave us this template by which to judge ourselves and others.
LESSONS
In looking at Pharaoh, Balaam, Achan, Saul, Shimei and Judas, we see that merely stating, “I have sinned” as a confession is not sufficient. The confession must come from the heart out of a real sorrow over the wrong done. And it must be accompanied with authentic repentance. John the Baptist taught this clearly in Luke 3:8: “Bring forth therefore fruits worthy of repentance.”
In these six cases we did not see the fruits of repentance. In some cases, the sin was repeated! To say, “I have sinned,” in an unmeaning manner, is worse than worthless, for it is a mockery of God thus to confess with insincerity of heart.
By contrast, the confessions by David and the Prodigal Son were meaningful, heartfelt expressions by those that really despised the sins they had committed. They evidenced a true repentance and willingly bore the consequences of their sin with nobility. It is instructive to note an important principle. While our heavenly Father will forgive sin that is properly confessed and repented of, he does not always remove the negative consequences our sins may bring.
Providence gave us six examples of hollow and insincere confessions, and just one case of a proper confession and repentance (ignoring the parable). Perhaps this indicates that real, heartfelt confession is rare. But this should also reveal how precious and grand are those confessions with repentance, which are truly a praise to God.
Luke 15:7 — “I say unto you, that even so there shall be joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine righteous persons, who need no repentance.”
— Br. David Stein
[1] Regarding the penalty that Achan and his household suffered, it is interesting to note a Jewish opinion giving a future hope for them. Footnote #30 from the RVIC on Joshua 7:25: “Tractate Sanhedrin, Ch. 6 [43b] Mishnah, shows by this incident that people will come back to life in the world to come. ‘Joshua said unto him, My son, give I pray thee, glory to the Lord, the God of Israel, and make confession unto him. And Achan answered Joshua and said, Of a truth, I have sinned against the LORD, the God of Israel, and thus and thus have I done.’ And whence do we know that his confessions made atonement for him? — From the words, ‘And Joshua said: Why hast thou troubled us? The LORD shall trouble thee this day. I.e., this day art thou to be troubled, but thou shalt not be troubled in the next world.’ ”